How my son Shravan changed my life, my purpose, and the way I think about the future
More than twenty years ago, I became mother to a little boy named Shravan. At the time, I had no idea that he would shape not only my life as a parent, but also the work I would go on to do.
Today, I serve as the CEO of MFA, am a Trustee of Forum for Autism, and am part of the core team at Tarangan Foundation. But none of these roles came first. Before any designation or organisation, I was simply Shravan’s mother.
Everything I do today began with him.
Our journey changed almost the moment he entered the world. Within hours of his birth, Shravan began experiencing seizures. Instead of taking our newborn home, we spent the next twenty-six days in the NICU. The doctors knew something wasn’t right, but they could not tell us what it was.
As the months passed, we realised Shravan was not reaching developmental milestones like other children. That marked the beginning of a journey familiar to many families of children with special needs. Our lives soon revolved around neurologists, developmental paediatricians, therapists, and hospital visits. Medication to control his seizures became part of our daily routine, and every appointment seemed to bring both answers and new questions.
Looking back, I also realise how important our support system was during those years. When you are trying to understand a diagnosis you have never even heard of, you rely on the people around you in ways you never imagined. Our parents, grandparents, siblings, neighbours, and friends stood beside us through the uncertainty, encouraging us whenever we felt overwhelmed. Ravi and I remain deeply grateful for the strength they gave us.
I still remember one eye specialist asking us why we had brought Shravan so late for an examination. Ravi and I looked at each other in disbelief. We did not even know children were expected to visit an eye specialist so early. It was one more reminder of how much we were learning as we went along.
When Shravan was around three and a half years old, we finally received the diagnosis of autism. Over time, we also came to understand the extent of his epilepsy, and later learnt that he had cerebral palsy.
The diagnoses gave names to the challenges we were already living with every day.
Around the same time, someone from our neighbourhood told us that we should prepare ourselves because Shravan might never walk. It was difficult to hear, but we chose not to let those words define what was possible.
We continued with therapies, celebrated every small milestone, and focused on helping him progress one step at a time.
Years later, something happened that many believed never would.
Shravan walked.
He was six years old.
It remains one of the happiest moments of our lives.
Those early years demanded almost all of our attention. Every decision revolved around doctors, therapies, schools, and medications. Like many parents, we were focused on helping our child through each day and each new challenge.
Financial security never became a priority.
Not because it did not matter, but because our immediate concern was giving Shravan the support he needed. We rarely paused to think about what his future would look like decades later, whether we would have enough to support him throughout his life, or who would care for him after we were gone.
Looking back, I realise many families experience the same thing. A diagnosis changes your priorities overnight. Therapy schedules fill your calendar, everyday responsibilities take over, and years pass before you realise that another important question has quietly been waiting in the background.
What happens after us?
During one particularly difficult phase, Ravi said something that has stayed with me.
“We can spend the rest of our lives asking why this happened to us,” he said. “Or we can spend them preparing Shravan for the future.”
That conversation shifted our thinking. Instead of asking Why us?, we began asking, What do we do now?
Around that time, I met Amar Pandit, the Founder of MFA.
I was waiting outside Shravan’s school one afternoon, reading a book, when Amar walked up to me. He happened to be reading the same book, and we struck up a conversation. What began as a discussion about books gradually grew into conversations about parenting, life, and purpose. Eventually, Amar invited me to join MFA.
It was through those conversations that Ravi and I began looking at our family’s future differently.
When we sat down to estimate what Shravan would need over his lifetime, we realised we would require a corpus of nearly ₹8 crore.
I still remember Ravi looking at that number and asking, “How will we ever make this kind of money?”
At first, it felt overwhelming.
But once we had a clear roadmap, the goal became easier to understand. We did not need ₹8 crore overnight. We needed a long-term plan, the discipline to follow it, and the patience to review it over time.
Breaking one overwhelming number into smaller, achievable steps changed everything. The goal itself did not become smaller, but it became far more manageable because we knew what we were working towards.
Around the same time, another part of my own journey also began.
I started working part-time so that I could continue prioritising Shravan’s therapies, school, and daily routine. I was not in the office every day, but I slowly began understanding how thoughtful financial decisions could help families prepare for important life goals. During this period, I also completed my Certified Financial Planner (CFP) certification.
As Shravan grew more independent, I gradually increased my working hours and took on greater responsibilities. Over the years, what began as a part-time role grew into a lifelong mission. Today, I have the privilege of serving as the CEO of MFA.
Looking back, I often feel that Shravan shaped my life in two ways. He made me a mother, and he gave me a purpose I had never expected.
Our family’s experience gradually became the foundation of a dedicated practice at MFA that supports families of individuals with special needs as they prepare for the future. Alongside this, I became deeply involved with Forum for Autism as a Trustee and with Tarangan Foundation, where I have had the privilege of meeting hundreds of parents whose journeys are remarkably similar to ours.
Although every child’s diagnosis is unique, the questions parents ask are often the same.
Will my child always be cared for?
Will there be enough to support them?
Who will make decisions for them when I am no longer around?
How do I help them continue living with dignity and independence?
Where do I even begin?
Over the years, I realised that families like ours are planning for two lifetimes.
That one thought changes how you think about the future.
In the early years, it is natural to focus on therapies, education, and day-to-day caregiving. Those are immediate priorities, and rightly so. But somewhere along the journey, another conversation also needs to begin.
Who will care for your child when you no longer can?
How will that care be funded?
Who understands your child’s routines, preferences, and medical needs?
What systems need to be put in place while you are still around to guide them?
These are difficult conversations, but beginning them early gives families more choices and greater confidence about the future.
When Ravi and I first saw that ₹8 crore number, it felt overwhelming. Today, we are well on our way towards that goal. Not because we found an easy solution, but because we started early, stayed consistent, and kept reviewing our progress over time.
If there is one thing I have learnt, it is this: there is never a perfect time to begin preparing for the future. Life rarely slows down. But taking the first step, however small, can make all the difference.
Start the conversations.
Talk to your spouse.
Talk to your family.
Write down the life you want your child to have—not just while you are around, but long after you are gone.
I have also learnt that no family should have to walk this journey alone. Doctors, therapists, teachers, fellow parents, and professionals each played an important role in ours. Every conversation helped us make one better decision, and every person who stood beside us made the journey a little less overwhelming.
When I think back to those twenty-six days in the NICU, I remember a young mother searching for answers. I never imagined that our family’s journey would one day help other families prepare for their own future.
Today, when I meet parents beginning this journey, I see a little of myself in them. If sharing our story encourages even one family to start these conversations a little earlier than we did, it has been worth sharing.
Over the years, I found myself wishing someone had handed us a simple roadmap when Shravan was young. That is what inspired me to put together the Six Essential Documents Every Family of a Child with Special Needs Should Have. I hope they help you begin your own journey.
You can also listen to The Special Needs Children Podcast, where I speak with parents, experts, and caregivers about the questions, challenges, and experiences that shape this journey.
In my next article, I will share how families can take the first step towards setting meaningful life goals for a child with special needs. Whether your child is three or thirty, it is never too early—or too late—to begin.
The greatest gift we can leave our children is not financial security alone.
It is the reassurance that, even when we are no longer beside them, the life we dreamed for them has been thoughtfully prepared with love, dignity, and care.
Connect with Chitra Iyer: Chitra.iyer@myfinad.com
