Category: A Parent’s Journey

Yesterday was Father’s Day. Let me confess: I had no idea such a day existed. I didn’t check LinkedIn till night. Then someone mentioned it, and of course I had to Google it—the third Sunday of every June is Father’s Day. It passed quietly and unnoticed, like many fathers do. So this post is for…

Let me tell you a mother’s story. Illiterate, underprivileged—and with such phenomenal grit and love that I am dumbfounded. Before the redoubtable Manjamma began working for me, I was looking for someone reliable and clean to help with the housework. Knock, knock. “Ma’am, namaskara! I heard you’re looking for a househelp. I’m Shashikala. I need…

“When do you start financial planning for your autistic child?” Yesterday. Because it is never too early to start. The earlier you begin, the more time you give yourself to create wealth, invest wisely, and plan not just for your child, but also for yourself. We began this process for Krishna a couple of years…

“Krishna, what do birds eat?” “Pija!” replied 2-year-old Krishna, who was eating pizza at the time. “You’re eating pizza, baby, and you’re not a bird. What’s your name?” “Santalagopalakisha!” he promptly giggled. (Krishna’s “traditional” name is Santanagopalakrishnan. Yes, a huge name for a tiny boy!) Till he was 3.5, Krishna was very verbal and communicating…

“”After us, then what?” This question popped up in my mind for the nth time yesterday morning, just about this time. I was frantically cleaning the sofa while Krishna’s father struggled to hold a cross, protesting Krishna. “Wait, Krishna! Let Amma finish cleaning the sofa. Then you can lie down. Next time, use the loo;…

“Let me tell you a story of courage. A story of love.” Yesterday, I was waiting for Krishna to finish his therapy. A blue electric auto purred to a stop next to me, and another mother stepped out. “Hey, Neelima! How are you doing? How’s Arav?” (Names changed.) She smiled at me. “Both good, Gayatri!”…

“So, what’s for breakfast?” For me, this is the scariest question possible on a Monday morning. Especially when my delightful maid decides to take off for a few days without letting me know. Krishna is an extremely picky eater, my parents need very soft and bland food, and my husband and I need something to…

Autism parenting seems a lonely journey. Autism seems a lonely journey. It needn’t be. Krishna’s first regression happened when he was about 4. “That’s not typical,” the doctors told me. “Are you sure you noticed nothing earlier? Very sure?” The diagnosis of autism was intimidating enough. And then to be told that even within this…

“Krishna, big, black eye!” And Krishna burst into peals of laughter. My cheek was against his and I peered into his eye. His comically huge, shiny, black side eye. My eye must have looked even more hilarious, and he laughed loud and long. For the first time in 6 long months of silent withdrawal, suffering,…

“I’ve seen many autistic children, but none like Krishna! Please admit him for 2 weeks in a psychiatric hospital.” When Krishna’s neurologist said this, she saw him at the peak of his pain. He was thrashing in my arms, spitting, crying, and desperately trying to break free to hurt himself. “But Doctor, this is his…

Does love need a spoken language? The gaze holding yours with such power that your soul is laid bare… The scent of that little head, sweet despite hair tangled with food, mud, and other strange objects whose history you can’t begin to guess… The thin hand that grips your wrist ferociously, nails digging in hard…

Let me tell you a story about parenting guilt. “Krishna, say bye to me. I’m going to the hospital. I’ll be back by evening.” Krishna was hiding under his comforter. He twitched a little foot, acknowledging me, and I fled before he changed his mind. Yesterday, I went to the hospital to finish various admission…