Where Do I Begin?

How to plan for your child’s future—one thoughtful decision at a time

In my previous article, I shared how Ravi and I came to realise that providing for Shravan’s future would require building a dedicated corpus to support him throughout his lifetime.

The realisation was overwhelming. And then came the question every parent in our situation would ask:

“How will we ever build a corpus like this?”

Over the next few weeks, however, we realised we had been asking the wrong question.

Instead of focusing on the entire corpus, we needed to ask ourselves something much simpler.

What exactly were we trying to provide for Shravan?

That one question changed everything.

Money was never the goal.

The life we wanted for Shravan was.

Like many parents, we had spent years thinking about therapies, schools, medications, and doctor’s appointments. We knew Shravan’s routines better than anyone else. But for the first time, Ravi and I sat down and imagined his life twenty, thirty, and even fifty years into the future.

Where would he live?

Would he continue living in our home?

Would he need someone to cook his meals?

Would he need assistance to travel?

Would he continue therapies?

Would he need someone to accompany him to hospital visits?

If Ravi and I were no longer around, who would make sure all these things continued?

Those conversations were not easy because there were no perfect answers. But for the first time, we stopped thinking only about today’s responsibilities and started thinking about Shravan’s lifetime. That became the foundation of everything that followed.

One lesson I have learnt over the years is that families often begin planning from the wrong end.

They start by asking:

“How much money do I need?”

I believe the better question is:

“What kind of life do I want my child to have?”

Once you can answer that question, the numbers become much easier to understand. Money is simply the resource that helps make that life possible.

Our discussions soon became more detailed. We spoke with our siblings, our extended family, and people who knew Shravan well. We discussed what would realistically work for him in the future.

Would he continue living in the same home?

Would someone from the family always be nearby?

Would he eventually require a full-time caregiver?

Could technology help him become more independent?

What responsibilities would eventually fall on someone else?

Every family will answer these questions differently because every child is unique. The objective is not to find perfect answers. The objective is to begin asking the right questions while you still have the time to think them through carefully.

I often encourage parents to imagine one ordinary day in their child’s future.

Not a special occasion.

Just an ordinary Tuesday.

Imagine your son or daughter at the age of forty.

Who wakes them up?

Who ensures they take their medication?

Who prepares their meals?

Who accompanies them to a doctor’s appointment?

Who notices when something isn’t right?

Sometimes, imagining an ordinary day tells you far more than trying to calculate one large financial number.

Once we had greater clarity about the life we wanted for Shravan, something interesting happened.

The intimidating size of the corpus slowly faded into the background.

Instead, we began writing down individual life goals.

The first was Shravan’s everyday living expenses—not just food and clothing, but everything that makes up daily life: housing, utilities, medication, travel, activities, and support for learning.

The second was creating a reserve for his medical needs. Children with special needs often require lifelong medical care, and we wanted to prepare for that uncertainty rather than react to it.

The third was ensuring that someone would always be there to support him if he needed assistance. Parents rarely think about this in the early years because we naturally assume we will always be the ones providing care. But planning for a lifetime also means planning for continuity of care, and that continuity deserves as much thought as any other life goal.

At the same time, Ravi and I realised something equally important.

Our own future needed equal attention.

As parents, we often feel guilty spending time planning for ourselves. But over the years I have realised something very important.

Your child’s future depends on your stability first.

If we did not prepare for our own retirement, healthcare, and day-to-day living expenses, we could eventually become dependent on the very resources we hoped would support Shravan.

Planning for ourselves was never separate from planning for our son.

It was part of the same responsibility.

Parents often ask me how detailed these goals need to be.

My answer is surprisingly simple.

Every goal needs only three things: a purpose, a timeframe, and an estimate of what it would cost today.

That’s all.

You are not trying to predict the future perfectly. You are simply creating direction. As life changes, those numbers can be reviewed. Goals can evolve. Needs may increase or reduce. But writing them down transforms uncertainty into something you can work towards.

One of the biggest mistakes I see parents make is postponing this exercise because they believe they need every answer before they begin.

You don’t.

When Ravi and I started, we certainly didn’t.

Many of our assumptions changed over the years. Shravan learnt new skills. Some challenges became easier. Others required more attention than we had expected.

Planning was never about getting every estimate right.

It was about creating a framework that could evolve with him.

That framework has guided every important decision we have taken since.

Looking back today, I don’t think the most valuable thing we created was a financial roadmap.

The most valuable thing we created was clarity.

We knew what we were working towards.

Every saving decision had a purpose.

Every long-term decision had context.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed by one enormous number, we were simply working towards one meaningful goal after another.

That made the journey feel possible.

If you are reading this as a parent of a child with special needs, I would encourage you to begin with a blank sheet of paper.

Before you think about numbers, think about your child’s life.

Write down where they will live.

Who will care for them.

What medical support they may need.

How they will spend their days.

What will give them dignity, comfort, and security.

Only after you have answered those questions should you begin thinking about the resources needed to make that life possible.

Because planning does not begin with calculating a corpus.

It begins by defining the life you want to protect.

Before I end, there is one more thing I want to share.

Many parents tell me they feel they should be able to do this themselves. I felt the same way once. But I learnt that planning for a child with special needs is simply too important to do in isolation.

Even though I work in this field today, Ravi and I needed a financial coach to help us think objectively about our own family’s future. We all have our own blind spots and biases when it comes to money. Our experiences, fears, and habits shape the decisions we make, and those decisions may not always be the ones that best serve our family in the long run.

That experience stayed with me.

It is one of the reasons I set up the Special Needs Practice at MFA.

Over the years, my team and I have had the privilege of interacting with thousands of families through workshops, webinars, schools, vocational centres, corporate engagements, and parent support groups.

Every family’s journey is different, but the questions are remarkably similar. Our role is not to tell parents what to do. It is to understand their unique situation, ask the questions they may not have thought about yet, and walk alongside them as they make decisions that are right for their family and their child.

Remember, this is not something you complete over a weekend.

It is a process.

It evolves as your child grows, as your family changes, and as life presents new situations.

That is why I always encourage parents to begin as early as they can. And if you haven’t started yet, begin now. The earlier you start, the more choices you create for your child—and for yourself.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or simply don’t know where to begin, please don’t hesitate to write to me at Chitra.iyer@myfinad.com or to my team at teammfa@myfinad.in. We will always do our best to help.

If you would like to continue learning, I warmly encourage you to listen to The Special Needs Children Podcast on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple. Across more than 100 episodes, I have spoken with parents, doctors, therapists, educators, siblings, and many others who have generously shared their experiences and insights. It has become a rich repository of practical knowledge and lived experience, and I hope it helps many more families feel informed, supported, and less alone on this journey.

There are many more experiences from our journey with Shravan—from celebrating the smallest milestones to navigating meltdowns—along with insights from experts in the special needs space. I look forward to sharing them in my upcoming book.

I would like to end this article by expressing my heartfelt gratitude to Krishna’s parents for creating this platform, where families can learn from one another, feel less alone, and begin preparing for the future with greater confidence.

Connect with Chitra Iyer: Chitra.iyer@myfinad.com