“No, my son isn’t autistic,” a young mother said, her eyes filling. “He has virtual autism.”
Krishna’s therapist shared that this happens quite frequently nowadays.
I had to go and look up what “virtual autism” is supposed to be.
Some experts use the term “virtual autism” to describe the potential for excessive screen time to mimic certain ASD behaviours.
As autism parents, two of the most difficult things we battle are denial and guilt.
We sometimes get caught in a frantic search for root causes—hoping that autism can be “cured.”
Why?
Because autism is seen as “bad.”
Sharma-ji ka beta and/or beti, Sharma-ji, and Mrs. Sharma-ji will laugh and point at us.
(Any Sharma-jis reading this, please forgive me for using your name as those generic “four people”!)
The truth is, they will laugh and point anyway.
So why spend your energy in denial?
Why waste time fighting a reality that needs your attention?
Be bold in accepting your child’s diagnosis.
Because only then can you begin to understand your child—and start finding the right ways to support them.
As for autism, no one can pinpoint a single cause as of today.
There may be genetic factors.
There may be environmental factors.
There may be factors we haven’t even discovered yet.
We simply don’t know for certain.
What we do know is this:
Autism is not caused by parents allowing their children extra screen time.
This is baseless guilt.
Yes, excessive screen time can delay the development of social and communication skills.
It can lead to dependence.
It can affect behaviour.
But a child does not “become autistic” because you gave them a phone or put them in front of a screen.
Children affected by excessive screen exposure can improve—with awareness, correction, and support.
Parents can recognise what went wrong, forgive themselves, and help their children recover.
But an autistic child—and their parents—are learning to live with and manage challenges that do not simply go away.
So, dear autism parents:
You did not cause your child’s autism.
Your lives may be more demanding.
But they are not less.
Never less.
As the Red Queen said, you may have to run twice as fast to move forward.
Sometimes, ten times as fast.
And that is not “less.”
That is strength.
That is resilience.
That is more.
PS: Yet another parent asked me how to avoid having another autistic child.
Even Google has “tips” for that.
Sigh.
